By redneck | January 2, 2009
Not sure that you would not recognize a real redneck when you saw or talked to one? Maybe you yourself, are a redneck? Print out this little cheat-sheet and keep it in your wallet. It will definately help you identify a redneck:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
3. You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
4. You measure distance in minutes.
5. You know several people who have hit a deer.
6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
8. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
9. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
10. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
11. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
12. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
13. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
14. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
16. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
17. You carry jumper cables in your car.
18. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
19. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
21. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
22. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
23. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
24. You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
25. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Topics: Redneck Jokes | Comments OffTags: r, Redneck Humor, Redneck Jokes