Here is a pretty funny redeck standup tour movie that was just released on may 10th. I finally just got to sit down and watcher:

“A Homegrown tour documentary that features stand-up comedians Jeremy, “Jer-Dog” Danley, Josh Alton and Rob Rivera battling hecklers and partying with rednecks. Laugh aloud as they take a no-holds-barred show out of the comedy clubs and bring it to small town bars, taverns, saloons and other venues of ill-repute…”

Trailer can be found on youtube:

This is NON-PAID, however food and entertainment will be provided!

If your family is interested, please send an email to
MISSOURICASTING@GMAIL.COM with the following information:
your name, a family photo, phone number, and any blackout dates you may be unavailable for (vacations, gigs, etc.) between May 1st – July 30th.

Please contact us at your earliest convenience!

Thank you, we look forward to hearing from you!

Sick an tired of those dang controllers fallin off the am/fm cassette tape radia? It is time to impravise jus like Gomer from Tascaloosa did. Grab the nearest knob-shaped thing off the floor and attach with a lil tabacca spit and yeehaw, we gots new controllers! (FYI this fix works 99.9% of the time as you will always find some spent bottle caps layin on yer floor)

Now while this might impress the males in some families, it irritated and upset the father. Pounding his fist on the table, he yells back “There ain’t no way you’ll marry that that thar girl! If she ain’t good enough for her own family, she sure’s hell ain’t good enough fer ours!”

Those fancy cielin fans at Walmart and the local Dollar store are just so danged expensive. This redneck alternative is quick and requires no hard-wirin. And best of all it’s critter safe. Ain’t no grouse, squirrel or crow gona get caught in the pro-pellers.

Ever hear people complainin about how they have rinse off the dishes before they put them into the dishwasher? “What’s the point of even having the dish washing machine then?” they ask.

Well, if your inventive enough, you don’t need to prewash anymore. Just ask Clete Morris and his dog Barnhardt. (fyi, this invention is being researched and patent pending)

Got a leak? Duct Tape It! Got a hole? Duct Tape it! Got a freakin’ crack in the road that the local township won’t fix? DUCT TAPE IT!

BARD — verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH — noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”

MUNTS — noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

IGNERT — adjective. Not smart. See “Arkansas native.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”

RANCH — noun. A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

ALL — noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

FAR — noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.”

BAHS — noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!”

TAR — noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”

TIRE — noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”

RETARD — Verb. To stop working.
Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

TARRED — adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”

FAT — noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.

ARE — pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

RATS — noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”

FARN — adjective. Not local.
Usage: “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed… must be from some farn country.”

DID — adjective. Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

EAR — noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: “He cain’t breath … give ‘im some ear!”

BOB WAR — noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

JEW HERE — Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”

HAZE — a contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah… haze ignert.”

VIEW — contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City… view?”

HEAVY DEW — phrase. A request for action.
Usage: “Kin I heavy dew me a favor?”

GUMMIT — noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Them gummit boys shore are ignert.”

Using duct tape to fix your car window is so old-school, it just don’t provide the insulating values of this fancy new foam spray stuff.