8 Year Old Plays Da Banjo
By redneck | December 17, 2010
You just ain’t gona find this kinda redneck conditionin in the city:
Now we be pokin fun n all, but these kids is pretty dang good!
Topics: Redneck Videos | 3 Comments »
Tags: Play The Banjo, Redneck Musicians
Redneck Dish Washing Machine
By redneck | December 17, 2010
Ever hear people complainin about how they have rinse off the dishes before they put them into the dishwasher? “What’s the point of even having the dish washing machine then?” they ask.
Well, if your inventive enough, you don’t need to prewash anymore. Just ask Clete Morris and his dog Barnhardt. (fyi, this invention is being researched and patent pending)
Topics: Redneck Engineering, Redneck Pets | 4 Comments »
Tags: Redneck Dish Washing Machine, Redneck Dishwasher
Duck Tape Fixes ANYTHING!
By redneck | December 17, 2010
Got a leak? Duct Tape It! Got a hole? Duct Tape it! Got a freakin’ crack in the road that the local township won’t fix? DUCT TAPE IT!
Topics: Redneck Pictures, Redneck Repairs | 5 Comments »
Tags: Duct Tape Repairs, Redneck Fixes
A Few Redneck Words (With Meanings)
By redneck | December 17, 2010
Not sure who originally compiled this list of Redneck words and meanings, but they are all over the interweb, and are spot on!:
BARD — verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
JAWJUH — noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”
MUNTS — noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”
IGNERT — adjective. Not smart. See “Arkansas native.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”
RANCH — noun. A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”
ALL — noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”
FAR — noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.”
BAHS — noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!”
TAR — noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”
TIRE — noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”
RETARD — Verb. To stop working.
Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”
TARRED — adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”
FAT — noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
ARE — pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
RATS — noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”
FARN — adjective. Not local.
Usage: “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed… must be from some farn country.”
DID — adjective. Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”
EAR — noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: “He cain’t breath … give ‘im some ear!”
BOB WAR — noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”
JEW HERE — Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”
HAZE — a contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah… haze ignert.”
VIEW — contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City… view?”
HEAVY DEW — phrase. A request for action.
Usage: “Kin I heavy dew me a favor?”
GUMMIT — noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Them gummit boys shore are ignert.”
Topics: Redneck Dictionary, Redneck Sayings | 13 Comments »
Tags: Redneck Slang, Redneck Talk, Redneck Words
Redneck Car Window Repair
By redneck | October 29, 2010
Using duct tape to fix your car window is so old-school, it just don’t provide the insulating values of this fancy new foam spray stuff.
Topics: Redneck Engineering, Redneck Pictures, Redneck Repairs | 4 Comments »
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