Redneck Jokes
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Wedding Tips: Unless You Are A Redneck
Sunday, December 14th, 2008Non-Redneck Tips for attending a wedding service:
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a [...]
Redneck Nobel Prize Award
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008A man is driving down a country road when he spots a
redneck farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that
the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking
at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way [...]
The Redneck Sheep Joke
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008Billy Bob and Jim Bob were driving down a country lane when they came upon a sheep with it’s head caught in a fence.
Billy Bob immediately pulled over, and they both got out.
Billy Bob walked up behind the sheep, and undid his belt and dropped his pants, and went to town on the sheep.
When he [...]
Things You Would Never Hear A Redneck Say
Thursday, October 9th, 2008Rednecks have many funny sayings, but here are a few you would never hear a true redneck say:
We don’t keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
You can’t feed that to the dog. I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it’s not safe.
Wrasslin’s fake.
Honey, did you mail that [...]
Redneck Personal Hygiene Tips
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008Redneck Personal Hygiene
1.Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
2.If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
3.While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private, using one’s OWN truck keys.
4.Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette [...]
